The Seeds of Time

When the people you think care,
You discover to be fake.
And the friendly face they wear,
They think is for your sake.
Though they do not see,
You're neither dumb, nor dense, nor blind!
You know that they must bee,
Ignorant in mind.
Though to them it is unknown,
That the tables soon shall turn.
And the seeds that they have sewn,
Become the lessons they must learn!

She Was Not There

This one is about my Mother... or lack of a Mother. She and my Father divorced when I was very young and she then joined the army and really never had a whole lot to do with me.


She was not there

I do not remember,
The gentle touch,
A mother gives her child.

For she was not there,
To see me grow,
To kiss my wounded knee.

She missed the time,
I stained my feet,
Climbing the mulberry tree.

She left before,
I walked out the door,
To go to school the first day.

She was not there,
When prom day neared,
To be proud and take my photo.

She was not there,
When I came home,
To announce I was to be married.

She was not there,
When I took the vows,
And also a new last name.

She was not there,
Throughout my life,
To see me grow and change.

She could never know,
What she has missed,
That day she decided to leave.

The day she left,
She gave my father,
Sole right to all these things.

To him I'm grateful,
For he was there,
And never left my side.

So to him was given,
The love and hugs,
And the Mother's Day cards.

April 2002

The Tattoo

This one needs no explination.

The Tattoo

I walk through the door
Nervous excitement passes over me
I've ben here before
Heart pumping while I wait
Picture in hand
Wating my turn
Buzzing all around
I look through the books
Pages of art
It's my turn now
I settle into the chair
Exposing what I need to
The humm of this needle is for me
My heart beats faster as I close my eyes
The needle touches the skin
A farmilar feeling
I watch as it moves accross my milky white skin
Making it's mark as the ink is deposited
My body heats up as the artist works
Layers of color change me
It's an oddly conforting feeling
When it's all over
I hand over my money
And walk out the door

Until next time

2003

The Meeting

This is about the 1st time I meant the family which would later become my in laws.

THE MEETING

As I stood there with the man I had only begun to see,
In a room of strangers I had never known,
Beyond the doors of the ICU.

He lay on the rigid hospital bed,
The crisp white sheet,
Barley covering his body.

As everyone looked down on him with tears in their eyes,
Knowing the breaths that he took were not his own,
But the breaths of the life support.

So strong a pain I felt in my heart,
When the decision was made,
And the man was allowed to die.

I found my self crying,
By the sides of these people,
Wondering why I was put here.

I felt such a strange closeness,
To these people at that moment,
A bond, which cannot be described.

Little did I know,
That these people that I stood by,
Were to be my in-laws.

And that moment we shared,
And the tears that we shed,
And the prayers that we prayed.

Were for my Father in law,
Who I would never formally meet,
But whose death I witnessed.
March 2002

Poetry

these are a couple little notes I wrote about what poetry is to me

Poetry

The sweet and honest words
crying out from ones true feelings
expressed freely and openly
are the true sounds of poetry
---------------------------------------------
Poetry may flow with the curiosity
such as that of a first love
unsure, wavering, free willed
dancing here and there
a song that cannot be captured
yet in your heart is forever felt.
April 2002

Through Her Eyes

this one is of course inspired by my daughter, Anja.

Through Her Eyes

So pure and sweet she sees the world
She knows not the wicked ways of man
She's never had a broken heart
She cries when teddy falls apart
The family pictures that she draws
Everyone is smiling, even the sun
Butterfly and Eskimo kisses
Great big hugs, she never misses
Candy land and shoots and ladders
She has her crayons, that's all that matters
Songs of Pooh Bear and little stars
Bed time stories of lands afar
Tooth fairies and Easter bunnies
Magic tricks and jokes so funny
And all she wants to do is grow up and be a big girl
Aug 2002

The Pit

I wrote this after a Nine Inch Nails concert where I was in the pit.

energy building
legs tense
spine tight
neck stiff
heart pumping
arms raised to brace and protect
lights go dim
everyone stands
the music starts
the crown rushes
Jumping and bumping
pulsing to the music
the whole crowd sways
fists shoot up
screaming all around
yelling with the music
surfing in a sea of people
hold them up over your head
the only way out is up
the crowd is one body
moving in one motion
you're in the pit!
9-25-02